Seventeen Days Before One

I’m a twin mom, caffeinated, exhausted, and here to tell it like it is. No filter.

Hi friends! And welcome back to Twinly Honest!
Let the chaos begin…

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✨ Some days feel like survival.

Not the picture-perfect, slow, meaningful kind of motherhood…

But the messy, loud, overwhelming kind.

The kind where I’m needed every second.

Where someone is always crying.

Where I can’t even think straight, let alone sit down.

Two babies.

Two schedules.

Double the love… but also double the chaos.

✨And if I’m being Twinly Honest…

There are days I don’t recognize myself in this version of life.

Days where I feel overstimulated, touched out, and completely exhausted before the day even really begins.

Days where I count down to bedtime.

Where I just want five minutes of quiet.

Where I catch myself thinking…

I can’t wait until this gets easier.

But lately… that thought has been hitting me differently.

✨ Because in 17 days…

My preemie babies turn ONE.

A whole year. 🥺

And I don’t even understand how we got here.

How the days that once felt so long…

somehow added up so quickly.

And now I’m sitting here realizing…

✨One day…

This won’t be my life anymore.

One day, they won’t need me like this.

They won’t reach for me the second they wake up.

They won’t cry for me from the other room.

They won’t need me to carry them, feed them, hold them, comfort them—all at the same time.

The chaos that feels so overwhelming right now…

will one day be quiet.

The toys that take over my living room…

will be gone.

The little hands that are always reaching for me…

will grow up.

✨And I don’t know when that shift will happen.

But I know it will.

And that thought?

It stops me.

Because the same moments I sometimes wanted to go faster…

are the ones I’m going to miss the most.

The contact naps.

The way they look at me like I’m their whole world.

The way they need me in a way no one else ever will again.

The over playing of Baby Shark.. even though that song drives my husband and I completely nuts.

✨Even the hard parts.

Even the exhausting, overwhelming, “how am I going to get through today” parts.

Especially those.

Because this season… it’s not forever.

It’s just right now.

And right now, I am everything to them.

Not because I have it all together.

Not because I’m doing it perfectly.

But because I’m theirs.

And they’re about to be one.

✨Seventeen days away from closing out the first chapter of their lives…

and the one that changed mine forever.

A year that stretched me in ways I never expected.

A year that broke me down and built me back up at the same time.

A year I will never, ever get back.

And lately, I hear that line in my head…

“Oh Darling, Don’t you ever grow up. Just stay this little”

And for the first time…

I understand it.

✨And somewhere in the middle of all of this…

I’ve started to understand something I didn’t before.

That it’s okay to feel both.

To feel exhausted… and grateful.

Overwhelmed… and completely in love.

Ready for the next phase… and not ready at all.

Because two things can be true at once.

And lately, I find myself trying to hold onto that.

To be in it.

To notice it.

To not rush through it—even on the hard days.

✨Because these aren’t just long days.

They’re the days.

The ones I’ll look back on and realize…

this was the beginning of everything.

And maybe I won’t miss every single moment.

But I know I’ll miss this version of life.

The one where I’m needed like this.

The one where everything feels big, loud, exhausting and somehow still so full of love.

✨Our miracle babies.

The two BEST things to ever happen to us.

This life with them… it’s not perfect.

But it’s everything.

And I’m not wishing it away.

Just learning how to hold onto it while it’s here.

🩷🩷

✨But Our Sweet Girls

Just try to never grow up….

🍼☕️

— Still figuring it out. Back Soon